A new start for my next Zoe the Assassin novel, 'First Dig Two Graves'
Here's the thing.
I've written the story, now I'm editing it after leaving the story for about a year, and it's coming along.
But...
Yes, there's always a but in there somewhere.
But, I don't like the start, or for that matter, I can't get a feel for it. I have about five different starting points, but none of them feel right.
I've been thinking of writing it from John's perspective, but there are so many peripheral characters that need to be drawn in, people he doesn't really know much about, or that some have a vested interest in his current girlfriend if she could be called that.
So I thought I'd throw a few words down and see how they sit:
You would not know by looking at MaryAnne that she was probably one of the best assassins in the world. You would be more inclined to consider she was just another spoilt American brat on the loose on holiday.
She was certainly one of the most beautiful women I'd ever met.
And she was certainly one of the most deadly. I could personally attest to that having seen her in action.
I could also attest to the fact that somewhere under that hard, conscienceless exterior, there was a heart, and sometimes it was visible. After all, I was a target, her target, once, and I'm still alive thanks to her.
It was a small detail I omitted when I introduced her to my parents, but that was one little step on a long road that I thought was going somewhere.
Perhaps, after all this time, I'd misinterpreted the signs and I was wrong.
We were sitting on the balcony of our hotel room on the 45th floor of the hotel we were staying at in downtown Surfer's Paradise, a mecca for holidaymakers from the rest of Australia, and overseas.
It was perfect for tourists.
The champagne was cold, and although it was a hot 35 degrees Celcius out in the sunlight, the mood on the balcony was as decidedly cool as the champagne.
Today was the six month anniversary of the first day we had spent together as, well, I was not sure, now, what we were.
She turned to look at me. She was nothing like the Zoe of old, and I had finally got used to Mary Anne. It was an amazing transformation, but with it, I had thought she had finally shrugged off the Zoe persona.
She hadn't. That hardened expression that I had hoped would be gone forever, had returned.
"It's time to go back home, John."
It was also that tone, the one when she spoke, that sent shivers down my spine, not the good shivers, but the one that told me trouble was ahead. Deadly trouble.
"I need to do something. Don't get me wrong, this had been a delightful rest, and I could not ask for a better companion, but it's time. We both knew this was going to happen."
I noticed her features had softened a little when she mentioned my name, but the message was the same. We had talked about this moment at the outset. There was always going to be a use by date on this adventure, for me at least.
It was also the time when she would, she said, decide where I would fit, if I fitted, in her future. When we originally spoke about it, she was still unsure of her feelings towards me. Over time, I had also hoped that they would be the same as mine for her.
Perhaps I had been expecting too much.
"When did you decide?"
"About thirty seconds ago. That's when I realized it doesn't matter where we are in the world, I still want to be with you. So, how do you like the idea of going into the assassination business?"
I'm not sure what John might think of this development, but I think you will agree with me, so long as he is with Zoe, he's happy.
© Copyright, Charles Heath 2018
I've written the story, now I'm editing it after leaving the story for about a year, and it's coming along.
But...
Yes, there's always a but in there somewhere.
But, I don't like the start, or for that matter, I can't get a feel for it. I have about five different starting points, but none of them feel right.
I've been thinking of writing it from John's perspective, but there are so many peripheral characters that need to be drawn in, people he doesn't really know much about, or that some have a vested interest in his current girlfriend if she could be called that.
So I thought I'd throw a few words down and see how they sit:
You would not know by looking at MaryAnne that she was probably one of the best assassins in the world. You would be more inclined to consider she was just another spoilt American brat on the loose on holiday.
She was certainly one of the most beautiful women I'd ever met.
And she was certainly one of the most deadly. I could personally attest to that having seen her in action.
I could also attest to the fact that somewhere under that hard, conscienceless exterior, there was a heart, and sometimes it was visible. After all, I was a target, her target, once, and I'm still alive thanks to her.
It was a small detail I omitted when I introduced her to my parents, but that was one little step on a long road that I thought was going somewhere.
Perhaps, after all this time, I'd misinterpreted the signs and I was wrong.
We were sitting on the balcony of our hotel room on the 45th floor of the hotel we were staying at in downtown Surfer's Paradise, a mecca for holidaymakers from the rest of Australia, and overseas.
It was perfect for tourists.
The champagne was cold, and although it was a hot 35 degrees Celcius out in the sunlight, the mood on the balcony was as decidedly cool as the champagne.
Today was the six month anniversary of the first day we had spent together as, well, I was not sure, now, what we were.
She turned to look at me. She was nothing like the Zoe of old, and I had finally got used to Mary Anne. It was an amazing transformation, but with it, I had thought she had finally shrugged off the Zoe persona.
She hadn't. That hardened expression that I had hoped would be gone forever, had returned.
"It's time to go back home, John."
It was also that tone, the one when she spoke, that sent shivers down my spine, not the good shivers, but the one that told me trouble was ahead. Deadly trouble.
"I need to do something. Don't get me wrong, this had been a delightful rest, and I could not ask for a better companion, but it's time. We both knew this was going to happen."
I noticed her features had softened a little when she mentioned my name, but the message was the same. We had talked about this moment at the outset. There was always going to be a use by date on this adventure, for me at least.
It was also the time when she would, she said, decide where I would fit, if I fitted, in her future. When we originally spoke about it, she was still unsure of her feelings towards me. Over time, I had also hoped that they would be the same as mine for her.
Perhaps I had been expecting too much.
"When did you decide?"
"About thirty seconds ago. That's when I realized it doesn't matter where we are in the world, I still want to be with you. So, how do you like the idea of going into the assassination business?"
I'm not sure what John might think of this development, but I think you will agree with me, so long as he is with Zoe, he's happy.
© Copyright, Charles Heath 2018
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